Beyond the Mirror: Why We Need to Break Free from the Clone Wars

On a recent trip to Sydney, something struck me almost immediately — every guy I saw looked like they’d been rolled off the same assembly line. Stubble trimmed to the same length, gym-honed muscles sculpted to the same specs, the same cropped shirts, tailored shorts, and white sneakers. And if they were part of a couple? Forget ‘boyfriend twins’ — we’re talking carbon copies. It was like a casting call for a gay reboot of Stepford Wives, and every single one of them got the part.

It left me wondering: when did standing out become so terrifying? And when did fitting in become the ultimate goal?

Queer people have always been brilliant at finding each other. Back when being out wasn’t safe, we developed our own secret language — subtle signals that said, I see you, do you see me? A pinky ring. A flash of red shoes. The infamous hanky code. These weren’t about blending in — they were about quietly, defiantly standing apart.

But today, queer signalling feels like it’s been swallowed whole by social media. Instead of clues that celebrate individuality, we’ve been handed a one-size-fits-all template for desirability — and way too many of us are playing along. Between curated thirst traps and influencer-approved aesthetics, self-expression has taken a backseat to social survival.

The Friendship Factor

It’s not just about fashion. Even the way we approach love seems to have changed. Arthur C. Brooks’ work on companionate love — the deep, friendship-based love that science tells us actually leads to lasting happiness — offers a reality check. The happiest couples aren’t the ones with the most perfect grid photos. They’re the ones who genuinely like each other, who laugh together, who show up as their messy, unfiltered selves.

But when you’re dating a mirror image of yourself, where’s the discovery? Where’s the spark? True connection doesn’t come from matching outfits. It comes from embracing — and loving — each other’s quirks.

The Danger of Following the Pack

This is where the Atlantic’s piece on perception and attention hit home. What we focus on — what we see, scroll past, and like — shapes our reality. If your entire feed is serving you the same face, the same body, the same lifestyle, it’s no wonder individuality starts to feel like a risk.

But here’s the trap: the more we all chase the same ideal, the smaller our world becomes — and the harder it is to even know who you are outside of the algorithm.

So, What Does This All Mean?

It means we need to rethink self-love — not as a perfectly lit gym selfie, but as something far braver. Real self-love means standing out, even when it’s easier to blend in. It means knowing you’re worth more than a curated clone — and remembering that true friendship, the kind that’s built on laughter and ugly cries and real conversations, will outlast any viral trend.

At Get Out, we don’t care if you fit a mold — in fact, we’d prefer if you don’t. Whether you’re into hiking, theatre, queer trivia, or just figuring it all out, there’s space for you. Our community was built to celebrate individuality — not erase it.

Because the world doesn’t need more boyfriend twins. It needs you. Exactly as you are.