The Calendar Conundrum: What Our Schedules Say About Our Values
In today’s hyper-connected world, where time feels as fleeting as a notification disappearing on your screen, it’s worth pausing to ask: Why are we all so busy? More importantly, why do we glorify it? The calendar, once a tool to help us stay organised, now often reflects a life dictated by obligations and distractions rather than genuine priorities.
This isn’t just a scheduling problem; it’s a values problem.
The Glorification of Busyness
Somewhere along the way, we equated being busy with being valuable. Packed schedules became a badge of honour. We stopped questioning what we were saying "yes" to, and in doing so, inadvertently said "no" to the things that matter most. The dining rooms in our homes disappeared, our calendars filled up, and somewhere in between, we lost the half-hour at the dinner table asking, “How was your day?”
The Atlantic recently explored the decline of dining rooms, revealing how even our homes now prioritise function over connection. Without spaces designed for togetherness, how can we foster the deeper relationships we claim to value?
What Are You Really Prioritising?
Here’s a tough truth: Your calendar doesn’t lie. It’s a mirror of your values. If you say you prioritise fitness, but your week is booked with back-to-back work meetings, you’re not prioritising fitness. If you claim family comes first, yet your evenings are spent glued to a laptop, your actions tell a different story.
It’s not just about being "busy"; it’s about being busy with intention. For me, this realisation came when I re-evaluated my time. These days, I focus on making an impact — through fitness challenges, meaningful work, and building a community that combats loneliness. Every activity in my calendar must align with these goals, or it doesn’t make the cut. It’s not ruthless; it’s purposeful.
Loneliness in the Age of Busyness
Ironically, despite our crowded calendars, loneliness is on the rise. We have more tools than ever to connect, yet the quality of our connections is dwindling. Research cited in The Atlantic shows that Americans are spending 20% less time socialising than they did at the start of the century. We’re filling our lives with individual achievements but neglecting communal joy.
As Ellen Cushing pointed out, the world is facing a “party deficit.” We’re not just losing physical spaces like dining rooms; we’re losing the emotional spaces where friendships thrive. Fewer people are throwing or attending parties, and fewer still are finding opportunities to gather without meticulously planned logistics.
Reclaiming Your Calendar — and Your Life
So how do we change? Start with your calendar. Look at it honestly: What does it say about what you truly value? Are you making space for the things that bring you joy, health, and connection? If not, it’s time for a reset.
Reintroduce Shared Spaces: Whether it’s a dining room table or a regular coffee date, create intentional spaces for connection.
Focus on What Matters: Dedicate time to the people and activities that align with your values.
Embrace the Awkward Moments: Connection isn’t always convenient, but it’s worth the effort. As Cushing suggests, throw a party. It doesn’t need to be perfect — just invite people in.
A Call to Action
As a society, we’ve optimised our lives for efficiency, often at the expense of intimacy. But we can recalibrate. Let’s slow down. Let’s stop glorifying the grind and start celebrating the moments that truly matter. Because at the end of the day, your calendar is more than a tool; it’s a reflection of your life. Make sure it’s a life worth living.