Loneliness at Work: Why Queer People Feel It More, and What We Can Do

For many of us, the workplace is more than just where we earn a paycheck — it’s often the main source of social connection in our adult lives. But what happens when that space doesn’t feel safe, seen, or inclusive? According to recent global research, one in five workers reported feeling lonely at work — not occasionally, but frequently.

This isn’t just an individual issue. It’s a workplace issue. A health issue. A community issue. And for those of us who are queer, it can feel even more acute.

Workplace loneliness is often invisible. You can be surrounded by colleagues and still feel disconnected — particularly if you’re masking your identity, navigating microaggressions, or working in a hybrid or remote setting that lacks meaningful human interaction. Gallup found that engaged employees were 64% less likely to feel lonely. But only 20% of workers consider themselves engaged. That gap? It’s taking a toll.

In my own work, I’ve come to see how often queer people are asked — implicitly or explicitly — to shrink themselves to fit in. A recent report from the U.K. found that 85% of LGBTQ professionals encountered career obstacles due to their identity, with many saying they feel pressured to "be less gay" to avoid discrimination or to be taken seriously.

So yes, loneliness at work can look like empty desks and silent Zoom calls. But it can also look like a smiling face in a team photo, hiding the fact that they don’t feel truly seen.

The Health Toll of Loneliness

Harvard researcher Lisa Berkman found that people lacking strong social ties faced double the risk of mortality compared to those with robust social networks — and that this risk was independent of physical health, socioeconomic status, or health behaviours.

It’s no wonder then that loneliness can lead to burnout, poor engagement, and high turnover. But it’s also a matter of wellbeing and survival.

Some companies are starting to act. At Actalent, an engineering and science consultancy with over 4,500 clients, the leadership team launched a program called “People to Possible.” They’re using employee surveys and data to identify who might be at risk of disengagement, and following it up with direct visits to teams, Q&A sessions, and check-ins. They’ve found that employees between 2–5 years tenure were the most at risk of leaving — a group who often feel stuck between “new” and “established”.

And in Canada, developer Adrian Rocca argues for rethinking physical workplaces altogether — not just by adding snacks and ping pong tables, but by designing spaces where social interaction, community services, and human connection are core to the blueprint, not an afterthought.

What Queer Connection Looks Like

For LGBTQIA+ workers, loneliness can be intensified by past experiences of exclusion, internalised shame, or the sheer absence of others like us. When we say we want “safe spaces” at work, we don’t mean segregated — we mean seen. Heard. Respected.

And it’s not just about grand gestures or rainbow lanyards during Pride Month. It’s about everyday interactions — being invited into conversations, included in decisions, asked about our weekends without side-eyes or assumptions.

One of the most powerful tools I’ve seen is simply asking people to share why they do what they do. What gets them out of bed. What keeps them going. This opens the door to vulnerability, authenticity, and connection that goes beyond the surface — because loneliness isn’t just about being alone. It’s about being unseen.

What We Can Do About It

As someone building a platform to tackle loneliness — not just in crisis, but in everyday life — I’ve learned that real change happens in the small moments. And that culture doesn’t come from top-down comms alone — it comes from the stories we share, the rituals we build, and the trust we cultivate over time.

So here’s what I hope you’ll take from this:

• Talk to your colleagues — not just about work, but about why they show up.

• If you’re a leader, create spaces for honest feedback and check in regularly with your team.

• If you're queer, don’t shrink yourself. The people who matter will thank you for showing up fully.

• And if you’re lonely at work, you are not alone. You are not broken. And there are communities — online and offline — waiting to welcome you in.

Because belonging isn’t a buzzword. It’s a basic human need. And if we want to build better workplaces, better lives, and better outcomes — we need to start there.